I do not advocate abstinence, i don not believe in it, nor do i advocate hopping up into the bed with a man you’ve only just met. I have done that and well lets just say that speaking from experiance i know it pays to make sure your mind leaps the precipice with your body, sometimes our bodies are racing ahead but our minds are only just getting in gear.
Lust is the most powerful intoxicant ever, i have never tried drugs so i cannot make an accurate comparison, but i would not ever like to experiance anything stronger than lust. Lust drives up your heart rate, makes your erogenous zones engorge, fills your body with chemicals. the only thing i can compare that with is pregnancy, where you actually grow another human inside of you, causing you to have more blood, an increase heart rate, makes your mammeries swell with nourishment, and fills you with hormones.
Now what happened to me when i could not, and did not wait. is terrible. i was invaribly feeling good after a few weeks in the sunshine, i returned to the uk, my skin glowing and my hair glossy and body sexy womanly , curvy yet slim. Then there was mr audi and his sexy self. i imbibed plenty, and caught up in the sprit of the moment was overwhelmed by him, how he was the kind of guy i used to pine over at school but never noticed me. how tall and broad he was.
we spend a short time socialising in mixed company, i noted his scent and how pleasing it was. he nuzzled at my neck and i allowed him to. normally i would have been stopped by the thought that somehow i was not good enough for a guy that sexy, that i was not fine enough or sexy enough, but in that moment in time i had the sun inside my body and the alcohol and his amorous overtunes turned my body liquid.
so we were just after the point when my pants were off then it hit me when he unrobed. “good god” he was truely the pride of jamaica with that manhood. then my mind started to catch up with my body, my body had already leapt but my mind started it’s chase. it started with it’s insecure rambling ” he is so well endowed and has had soooooooo much experiance… you gonna make a fool of your self.”
you can only imagine how it panned out. actually it was ok, but from then on i wondered about it. i need suspense, i need intimacy i need some form of emotion and because my mind was not seduced it was almost clinical….. very sexy but devoid of soul.
I remember about when i first met brown, we met in a night club and we did not meet again till a month and a bit later. we had a series of dates and did not even kiss till the third date. we started to see each other 3 times a week because we could not get over the suspense of a whole week apart. then 3 months after we met i was just dying , and we set the date 11th november 2006. It was soooooooooo much like paradise i cannot even put into words, in those three months i had time to invest feelings in the guy, we knew things and i wanted it to be good for him and he wanted it to be good for me and believe me it was. eventually things went sideways but most good things do.
