well, i have decided to let go of brown, he is a great man, full of flowery speech and warm words, but little action ( believe me, we had a physical reunion that left me yawning). The relationship only ever was beneficial to him, he worked all over the country and saw me me only once a month, what is the point? he just wanted someone who he could rely on to be faithful, god knows what he was doing, or seeig while i pined for him. men want women to be true, even if they do not return the favour, now my inner optimist wants to know, how can you be so sure that men are like that? well here’s my exeperiance of watching my male friends and the unfortunate idiots that became ex-boyfriends.
let’s call our prime candidate “Mr audi” he is tall, sexy and very fit, and god does he know it! he is a whore, he is only one step up from being called a hackney carriage, he never refuses a fare, no matter how ugly, or physically grotesque,old, or how wrong you are, he will never refuse your advance. I should praise him, he is practically a public service (oh how literal!). but it is a disgrace, he rolled into a party and annouced “Jesus lord!!! one OLD WOMAN raped me up oh god!!!!” and he will proceed against all protests to tell us in high definition , the whole exploit. he will tearfully tell you how much he loves the mother of his children and his estranged wife then proceed to try and ply you with wine and get up under your skirt. he will chat up two women who are related by blood in the same room in the same night within earshot of one and another. and he says and admits he lives for his sexual pleasure. but god we all remember the night he came home (after nailing a barely legal girl at a nightclub) and found his wife in bed with a neighbour. He flipped out he broke the walls with his bare fist tossed a strapping (15stone neighbour) man out of a first floor window. he then pushed his wife off the matress and took the matress down the stairs and flung it in the garden and then drove to the petrol station bought a couple litres and doused the matress and then burned it. he left her for making a fool of him. he made her take a paternity test for his children. funny that after all his years of non-stop whoring with just any old alleycat on the street his wife has one indiscresion and it’s all over.
my next candidate is my one lousy relative, i wont name names but here we will call him beardy mcbeard. if you saw that animal masquerading as facial hair you would understand. anyhoo , this man will stand up for any man regardless of his sins and say “famillies must stay together” it’s his motto and he is much derided for it. if the husband was caught having sex with the babysitter, if he caught a case because he fiddled with some underage teen, if he goes to jail, “the family must stay together” . lets be clear before you stand up for this man, he is not saying that because he is a conservative family values guy, he is saying because he is an arsehole. All the example i have just alluded to are real, we have argued over them and he just says it’s natural for a man to like young women ( i alway argue that 14to16 will get you 10to 20 years and that 14tp 16 is not a young woman it’s just a slightly old tween but there you go) and that if a woman loses her youthful good looks and charm she cannot begrude her man sliding off for casual relations with a woman who inspires passion and not loathing. (yes i think i am related to a mysogynist too) but what he hates more than families being broken over women having human feeling is women do things that are(in his opinion) male things like have sex with young men. he hates that, it’s unnatural he says. but i wont bother with him anymore. if i began to tell you what he thinks of homosexual men the sheer hatred would crash the internet. but female homosexuals make his world go round, he wont admit that, i just know cos i stumbled into the wrong cupboard in his house. the titles were hillarious….”she’s a big strapping strap-on girl” and such luminaries…
And my last candidate saddens me even more. it’s my best friends boyfriend. i have had a low level resentment towards him for the past 15 months of their 2 and a half year romance. because of his freudian slips in bed calling her the names of ex-girlfriends and random neighbourhood hoochies that are after him. then cheating on my fine as hell friend for a overweight, greasy, downright FUGLY, middleaged slob that walks the streets in flannel pyjamas to get her fags and booze from the tabacconists. but she forgave him snd so i followed and respected her decision. then he started coming onto me, always when i was drunk and couldn’t decide whether or not it was all in my mind or not. but one night in a house party when all but the three of us had left, my friend goes to sleep and we continue drinking. the drinking i admit goes on till about 5 am. then he makes his moves. i freak out (quietly) telling him he must of lost his natural mind, and he responds not with, “oh god sorry i made a mistake” or “ man i been so stupid” or “i’m real drunk” or even “oh shit” he proceeded” to say that ” what she would never know would never hurt her, just say that we were both too drunk to know better if she finds out” i could not believe it . i was at my lowest ebb. i didnt tell my friend because i felt intimidated that i could wreck the relationship she worked so hard at, and at the same time i wanted time to watch his behaviour and gather evidence before i bust up everything.
then was the final straw Brown…. facebook, a well know hoochie all up on his page posing in nothing but a pair of diamond earring talking bout good to see you at the party last week catch up soon. this is the same brown who works so much that he can only see me once a month… bullshit mate. i dont ask for undivided attention, i could go to parties. but it dawned on me that he just wanted someone to bone on the weekend that hasn’t whored out
but now i will take men for what they are but not what they profess to be, i want a man in a pretty package, with sex appeal, lets face it, no man says, ” i want a woman with ideas about our fiscal policy and third world debt” he wants a pretty girl to bang and a boring girl to stay at home and raise his kids. its not a happy day to think this about men. I love having faith in people. but recently men have disappointed me. i just want to be happy about them.
